My tummy

I remember myself as a teenage girl and this constant feeling of not having a flat enough tummy. Days full of anger and frustration, tears, and the constant need to suck in my stomach – so much that it became the new normal state of my body.

I was never fully happy with my tummy, not as a teenager and not as a young woman. I always felt that I was too fat, that I wasn’t beautiful enough. Now, when I look back at old pictures from that time, I feel shocked and confused – because what I see is a very beautiful girl with a lovely, good-looking tummy.

It’s such a crazy phenomenon how we see ourselves and how the outer world sees us. These are often completely different universes. I have a naturally curvy figure, which I now know is very sensual, feminine, and a pure expression – especially if you know how to move your body. But back then, I hated everything about it.

It’s insane how much we, as women, get manipulated from early on – by society, magazines, and these days by Instagram – with strangers and businesses telling us how we should look. What’s right and what’s wrong. What’s attractive and what’s not. This whole system is the problem – not my tummy, and not yours either.

After a dark time of depression, eating disorders, a horrible heartbreak, and feeling very lost, I started my own healing journey. Step by step, I learned how to love my body again, how to love my tummy, and how to realize that I am so much more than just my physical body.

This was a wild ride and definitely not a linear one. It took years, many therapy sessions, spiritual practices, books, podcasts, self-practice, and movement to come to the point where I am now.

And this does not mean having a “perfect” body – nope. I have stretch marks, some varicose veins, lots of blue spots because I’m clumsy and bump into furniture all the time (haha). My tummy is not flat, and my calves are too thick to fit into normal high winter boots. That’s the reality.

But the other reality is that despite all of this, I feel good in my body. I really, really like it – it’s my best friend. And yes, sometimes we “argue” – especially before my period comes. I think you know exactly which phase I’m talking about. But it’s about 80% love, healthy and kind self-talk, self-care, and a feeling of pure acceptance. And 20% natural discussions (hihi).

Of course, this relationship takes work – like every relationship does. So I often find myself naked in front of the mirror, saying:

“Hey tummy, I love you. You are enough and absolutely okay just the way you are.”

Sometimes I rub my tummy, place my hand there, take a deep breath, and send love and good energy to it.

Like with everything in life – what you do, think, or say – it’s not about perfection. No one feels 100% all the time. It’s about a healthy, consistent, loving energy and doing the best you can every day. And not every day is the same – and that is so okay.

On bad days, I never tell my tummy that it’s ugly or too fat. I say:

“Today we don’t feel so good, and that’s okay. Tomorrow is a new day.”

I don’t punish myself with diets. I don’t forbid myself anything. I sit down, listen to my body, give it what it needs in that moment, and stay caring and understanding.

The next day, I start again with new energy, listen again, and say:

“Today I feel better,” or “Today I feel good.”

The way you talk to yourself and think about yourself is incredibly powerful – and many of us don’t even realize it. So let me tell you this: the way you speak and think about yourself creates the way you feel about your tummy and your body.

The more negative, hateful, or ugly thoughts – the worse the feeling.
The more positive thoughts and loving, empowering words – the better the feeling.

It’s not about losing weight. It’s not about having a flat tummy. It’s about the feeling you create within yourself.

So tell yourself compliments while looking in the mirror. Write empowering sentences on sticky notes and place them around your apartment. And yes – rub your tummy from time to time and tell it that it’s beautiful just the way it is.

Movement helped me a lot too – and I’m not talking only about the gym. Go for walks to activate digestion. Sign up for a dance class to connect with your feminine energy. Start yoga or Pilates to strengthen body awareness. Or hike in the mountains to feel grounded.

This healing journey becomes much easier when you see it as a game – a game of trying things out, getting to know yourself, and being okay with discovering things you don’t like. Everything you don’t like brings you closer to what you do like – don’t forget that.

And I think what helped me the most was having one big “prize.”
As a teenager, I always wanted a belly button piercing. But back then, I thought my tummy was too ugly. Later, as a young woman, I still wasn’t happy with my looks. When I started my healing journey, I set a goal: the moment I can truly say that I love my tummy – bloated or not, on my period or not – and genuinely feel good about it, that’s when I’ll get the piercing.

It took me until I was 27 to get my prize – but here I am.

And so can you.

Our tummy protects our feminine organs. It is the center of our beautiful bodies. It finally deserves love and attention – in a healthy way.

Don’t wait for that big day of change – it will never come.
Everything starts with a decision. A decision you can make right now, while reading these lines. No drastic changes. Small gestures. Small practices. Every day. Step by step.

It’s a marathon – not a sprint.

So, beautiful soul… what is your prize?

Much love &  hug,
Johanna